My Surgery...

{My pre-surgery photo with my nice non scared neck}

So I figured I would let everyone know what has been going on lately. I've been trying my hardest to keep my personal business, my business but everyone keeps asking about my surgery and how everything went. So here it goes... just bare with me because I am STILL trying to wrap my mind around every thing.

Anyways, my situation isn't exactly "good news" but it's not completely devastating news either. At least not so much NOW. When I first found out, it was heartbreaking. I really didn't know how to feel about it... my first reaction was to cry. I was scared. My life flashed right before my eyes. I was worried about my kids future and not having a mom around. Then I wanted to scream and be mad, I was sad but happy at the same time. Then I felt ridiculous for being "overly dramatic" and laughed until my belly hurt. Seriously, any emotional out there-- I felt it! It's been one heck of an emotional roller coaster for me. If I had to guess what it feels like to be bi-polar then THAT had to be it.

Not sure who remembers me posting something on Facebook about needing to have throat surgery but I did. I went in on Thursday 13Oct2011 to have the left side of my thyroid removed because I had a "goiter" (a lump) in my throat. I've been going through different kinds of testing for over a year-- Cat Scans, MRI's, Ultrasounds, etc to make sure it was benign (which means it was not life threatening and didn't show signs of becoming cancerous. It had no significant effect and it was just a cosmetic "disfigurement"). But I decided to make an appointment with the General Surgeon at the Naval Clinic on base to see if he would be willing to remove it for me because it had grown slightly larger over the last 6+ months and I could feel it every time I swallowed. It was annoying and I have always been real in tuned with my body-- the bump just didn't "seem right" to me.

So I had surgery, everything went well and my doctor said that I was "fine". He told me the frozen sliver of my thyroid tissue sent to the in house lab came back non cancerous. So I did my recovery (4-hours) and went home. I'm not a big fan of hospitals.

Fast forward 6 days, I was having trouble breathing, my chest felt really heavy, and I started panicking. Which isn't good cause I have really bad anxiety. So I had Shane at work, he rushed home and helped me call my doctor (who did my surgery) and left a message. He called back later that night (this was on 20Oct2011) telling me that he "was actually needing to call me anyways". Which is not something anyone wants to hear from their doctor. My heart sank! He continued on telling me that even though they do "in house" pathology. They still send the organ out to another laboratory for "a second option and to be safe". And that it's standard protocol to send the whole "specimen" in to get it further evaluated. How reassuring is that? And this is NOT a military facility. I actually had surgery at a normal civilian hospital. Anyways, he proceeded to give me "the results"... CANCER!!! It came back cancerous. :( I couldn't believe it! After he said the "C" word I about died. My knees felt weak, I couldn't breath, my face got red, and I thought I was gonna pass out. I mean seriously how devastating is news like that?! What 27 year old-- or any other person for that matter wants to hear that they have cancer?? No one... and definitely not me!! He went on saying that "the kind of cancer I had wasn't dangerous and that hardly anyone ever dies of thyroid cancer. What the heck? It's the people who have thyroid cancer and don't know about it, that are in danger because by the time they do realize something is wrong, it has already begun to spread throughout their body.

We talked about what the next step should be... and he wanted me to come back to the hospital the following day for a second surgery (in the matter of 7 days) to have the right side removed as well. And if for some reason I couldn't do it then, I would have to wait a month because my scar tissue would be "too thick" and it would be difficult to operate. And if I choose to wait, I would be "chancing it" because even though my case was in the beginning stage, it still had the possibility to spread. Without even thinking about it, I said YES!!! and that I would definitely be there the next day. But by this time, I could hardly even talk to him anymore. I had to hand the phone to Shane and he finished the conversation, got my surgery time, and hung up. Once he got off the phone with my doctor he said that my surgeon explained that my case is "good" because it's just the beginning stage. That I don't need to panic, the cancer hadn't left my thyroid gland yet and that my surgery would be at noon the next day.

So Shane called his Chief to let him know what was going on. Luckily he has an awesome Chief that granted him emergency leave for as long as we needed it. :)

Recovery the 2nd time was SO painful! I got cut open in the same spot twice and had to stay in the hospital overnight the second time around. It was torture. Like, I said I don't like hospitals and I would rather recover at home in my own bed.

Now fast forward to today, (3 weeks later) my pain is gone, my scar is healing great and I am doing good. It took a while to get this way. But I did it! :) Now I am on a synthetic thyroid hormone replacement medication and unfortunately I will have to be on it the rest of my life. :( I never realized how much the thyroid controls. But holy cow... it controls a lot!!!!

I will eventually have to go through a 24 hour radio-active iodine treatment. Where I will be quarantined away from my family. And that is to kill any possible remaining thyroid cancer cells-- it's a preventive treatment. Which I am fine with. It's a small price to pay compared to what "could have been". It's weird because most people think cancer and feel pity for you. But I think this was a blessing in disguise!!! It all started with a "bump" on my thyroid that bothered me, my surgeon agreed to remove it, found out it was cancerous, and went back in to remove the rest of it before it could get worse. The whole "having cancer" didn't hit me and really sink in until after it was already gone. But now that it has, I'm just so grateful this was brought to my attention and I got it taken care of before it got worse. It's such an incredible blessing! God seriously is on my side and is doing amazing things in my life, little by little.

I appreciate everyone's thoughts, prayers, and concerns too. The out pour of love from my family and close friends has been phenomenal! I'm a lucky girl to say the least. This whole experience started out good, then went south quickly. But got better even quicker. :) I was completely disappointed when I hear the "C" word but I refused to let that get me down! I'm pretty stubborn-headed (got that from my dad) and during times like this I am glad I inherited that gene from him. :) It has been such a learning experience and has given me an "attitude adjustment"... which I needed. My outlook on life is so different now-- and for the better. So in my eyes this whole ordeal has been a miracle!!

If there's one thing I have learned it's that time is so, so precious. Don't let days pass you by because it's wasted time you can't get back. Every second counts, so make the most of it.

I just wanted to let you know and put my story out there. So everyone else can be aware of what could happen. Please remember to go to the doctor regularly. If something doesn't seem right... get it checked out! I mean I'm a hypochondriac and go to the doctor for anything and everything. But my one "silly" thing led to testing, which led to surgery, which lead to finding out I had thyroid cancer... which SAVED MY LIFE!! I live by this motto... "It's better to be safe then sorry!"

Also, I didn't put this out there to get sympathy or pity. I actually can't stand being the center of attention. I just wanted to share my experience and to hopefully "inspire" others to be more aware.

The whole... "that will never happen to me so I have nothing to worry about" way of thinking is no longer in my mind. Because it does happen and it CAN happen to you. It happen to me!

Here are a few pictures I have taken along the way...










{My incision right after my first surgery}


















{Three days, post-op}








{Six days, post-op}









{My incision after the second surgery}









{In the hospital, bored and looking horrendous.}









{Shane and the girls brought be some balloons. So sweet!}









{Makayla entertaining herself with a glove while visiting me in the hospital.}









{The day I came home from the hospital after my 2nd surgery.}









{Flowers from my momma, Shawn, my brother and sister}









{They were so pretty and smelled good!}









{Two days, post-op after 2nd surgery}









{One week, post-op of 2nd Surgery}









{Sitting outside watching the girls play and messing around with Shane.}



























{Starting to look really good!}









{My incision as of 11.10.11}

I've been using Bio Oil on it every day at night and it's amazing! I really think it works on helping to minimize scaring.

It looks like this...








Editing in with the newest picture of my "healing" scar.




Tanya